A Loving Journey

I got my cat Tess long before I had, had my daughter but I found after I had/lost my daughter that it wasn't so much the people in my life that helped me through my grief but it was Tess that helped me along and get through the days following my loss so I wanted to share Tess' story with you all...

When I first got Tess she was as tiny as a hamster. She had been abandoned by her mother and the people who gave her to me said that they did not believe she would make it but I took her anyway. Back then I didn't really have an understanding of how much it hurts to loose so I was willing to risk it.

When we got her home to North Bay, Ontario from Sturgeon Falls she had to have a bath and 9 more following that one to rid her of fleas. Then I made several vet appointments for her to make sure she was healthy enough and not in any pain or suffering from any illnesses. Luckily my vet told me she was in good health we just needed to fatten her up and make sure she was getting the proper amount of vitamins in order to grow up strong and healthy. I ended up having to bottle feed her for a little over 3 months until she was strong enough to stand over her own food and water/milk dishes.

When Tess was about 4 ½ months old she had an accident when my father accidently dropped some 2x4’s on her. At this point I thought she would never make it but after 3 weeks at the vet hospital she was as good as new. Of course she still had back pain from time to time but other then that she was a happy go lucky cat.

As time went on Tess showed more and more of her own personality and boy was she one of a kind! She loved lying in front of the window watching what was going on outside but she did not like going outside. The first time she got out was when I lived with my father and step-mother on Ski Club Rd. One of my little step-brothers has left the door open in the middle of the winter and Tess, being the curious cat she was, decided to take a little stroll outside. I noticed her laying in the middle of the road and I ran to her as I noticed a car coming full speed ahead. I managed to jump infront of it, scoop her up and run her back into our house. After that any time Tess did go outside she basically just fell over and played dead, so to speak. She loved sitting on her step stool in front of the TV to watch golf...she sometimes tried to go after the ball too. She enjoyed peace and quiet and loved to cuddle! Her favourite part of the day was her morning, evening and bedtime tablespoon of wet cat food. (I only gave her a tablespoon cause that's all her tiny stomach could handle after her surgeries) She only liked chicken & beef chunks in gravy or shredded turkey with cheese in gravy and of course "whisker lickens" cat treats sent from grandma in Texas.

While I was pregnant with my daughter Tess would lay beside with one paw resting on my belly and sometimes she would even lay directly on my belly if Kaydence was kicking and moving around a lot and she would purr real loud. This using calmed Kaydence down and she would go to sleep. Tess was very protective of me while I was pregnant. Even when the paramedics came to get me the night I had to call 911 Tess was very upset and hissed at the one paramedic even giving him a light swat...she didn't have any claws but her swats were very powerful. She liked to protect me and she liked the familiar so anything out of the ordinary usually upset her.

She was a spoiled kitty but she was one of a kind and was very smart. It was New Years 2007 and we both stayed at my cousin's house for the holidays. I fell very ill and at one point I had fainted coming down the stairs. At the time the only people home with me was my cousin Erin and of course Tess. Erin was busy on the phone and didn't know I had fainted on the stairs but Tess knew something wasn't right and slowy crept towards the stairs managing to get Erin's attention...I believe with all my heart my sweet cat saved me that night. I later found out I had a bad case of pneumonia.

Another story I love to tell people is when my mom would sent parcels in the mail to me. Every time my mother sent me a package from Texas she had to make sure she put something in the box for Tess cause Tess just knew when she saw a parcel that there had to be something for her in there. She would follow me all over the house until I would sit down and open the box...as soon as I got the box open Tess would jump right into it. It was something we looked forward to and with Tess there was never a dull moment.

It was around the middle of summer '08 when I noticed Tess’ whole personality was changing. She liked to keep to herself a lot of the time. She was having trouble walking around, getting in and out of her litter box and she got easily irritated. Any time someone would pet her she would let out a painful meow. I knew at this point that my time left with Tess was limited. I brought her into the vet and sure enough he confirmed that Tess’ back was a lot worse and there was nothing more they could do for her, she would have to be put down or live in pain until she was finally ready to go naturally but the vet was not willing to give me that option.

I could not bare to watch my cat, my baby, suffer any longer so on November 28th 2008 I brought Tess back to the vet where I prepared to say goodbye to her for the last time. I tried to remember all the good times but it was hard as I held her in my arms waiting as she passed on. Aside from loosing my daughter ,it was the worst feeling I had ever gone through. My heart was aching as I realized that I went there with my cat alive and would leave without her. As I watched Tess slip away from me I felt so guilty. I should have taken better care of her...would she ever forgive me? It was that last look she gave me before the vet took her out of my arms that I will never forget. It was almost a mix of peacfulness but sadness all at the same time. She was smart, she knew she wasn't coming back home with me. I gave her a gentle, reassuring kiss on her cheek to let her know I loved her, I'd miss her, I'd never forget her and then I handed her off to the vet. The vet returned about 5 minutes later with Tess wrapped in her 2 favourite blankets and gently placed her back in her kennel. My good friend Raylean was there with me and offered to have Tess burried in her back yard along side her cat Jazmine.

I still think of her all the time. Some people say it’s just a cat, get over it...but she wasn’t just any cat she was my cat, she was my fur baby and the only living thing that stuck by my side no matter what. In my eyes she was practically human. She was there for me when I left for the hospital only to find out my daughter’s heart had stopped in the womb at only 6 months and she was there when I returned home without my daughter. She knew something wasn’t right and having her there with me helped more then I can ever explain. She grieved with me...she was my comfort through a horrible heartbreaking time.

I miss her with all my heart...I miss her every second, minute, hour and day of my life but I am hoping she is now with Kaydence. I know she would have protected Kaydence if she had been born alive so I know in my heart that they're together and Kaydence will love her just as much as her mommy did!

Thank you for sharing your Tess' story. I am so sad for your loss. She sounds like such a loving pet.
A friend of mine from another loss site lost her cat recently and started a blog in memory of her cat and for people to share stories about their own cats. http://thekittyscorner.blogspot.com/
We got our dog after our loss. I just couldn't bare to be alone in the house all the time. We love her so much. She is such a sweetie. I totally can understand how much a pet can add to one's life. They certainly are never "just a cat" or "just a dog"

I am so sad about Tess, My kitty Lincoln was also my best friend, he was a one person cat and that was me. He followed me every where, only slept with me etc... After Toby died, I believe he truely knew and felt my pain, he never left my side. Even though he loved being outsid, those first couple weeks he just stayed with me always I was never alone. Whe I was pregnant with Sammy he seemed worried about me while I was on bedrest, and would also lay by my belly and purr so loud for Sammy to hear.

A month or so before Sammy was born my beloved friend was hit by a car and killed. I still am in such a dark place with his death and just feel so crappy without him. i just miss him so much, and hate that my Sammy and him can't lay with me together on the couch.